words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
Jill: Hey!
Jill: Youll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didnt even tell me why!
Jill: Yknow, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but Im not gonna date some random guy from your work.
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Jill: You asked him too?!
Jill: Why?!
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!
Jill: Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do.
Jill: Why are you so jealous of me?
Rachel: Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Jill: Who?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
Jill: But you know what might really cheer me up?
Jill: Seeing some more of your super-cool slides.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Jill: Oh great! Thanks Ross, youre such a good friend!
(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While hes gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
Jill: Oh great! (Goes to get it as the phone rings.)
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Jill: So? (Kisses him passionately.)
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
Ross: You take care Jill.
Jill: (happily) Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]
Amy: You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
Ross: Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card.
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
Jill: Yeah but maybe thats a good thing. Yknow Im doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too!
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Chandler: She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Jill: (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
Jill: My God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth) That better?
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jill: And yknow what I said to him? "Im gonna hire a lawyer and Im gonna sue you and take all your money. Then Im gonna cut you off!"
Jill: Are you alright?
Jill: (on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill.
Jill: (checks) Sorry, it's not.
Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.
Jill: Would you like some gum?
Jill: Perfection?
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)
Jill: No, you've got to whip it.
Jill: Right! But, I am sorry.
Jill: Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)
Jill: Well, this has been fun.
Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
Jill: (awkwardly) Would you like to call somebody? (offering phone)
Jill: (on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Written by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Jill Condon & Any Toomin Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Jill?
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Jill: She took all my stuff.
Jill: You stop!
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Ross: Hi Jill.
Jill: Hi!
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Jill: Hey!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Jill: No you stop!
Rachel: With Ross and Jill?
Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Ross: Sorry-sorry Jill.
Jill: (laughs) Me too.
Jill: Really?!
Ross: (entering) Hi Jill!
Jill: (entering) Sorry Im late, whats up?
Jill: You think so too?
Jill: Yeah.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Jill: What?
Rachel: She-she died Jill.
Jill: Its yours!
Jill: (entering) Hi!
Jill: Hey!
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Jill: (To Rachel) Daddy cut me off.
Jill: Well okay, if it means that much to you, then Ill ask him out.
Jill: Okay, I bought a boat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Jill: Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical!
Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!
Jill: Were you this cute in high school?
Jill: Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didnt go in. How strong am I?
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Monica: Rach? (Points to Jill.)
Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Ross: Hi Jill.
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Jill: Hi!
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Teleplay by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Story by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
Part I Written by: Michael Borkow Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Part I Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Part II Transcribed by: Aaron D. Miller
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]