words in movies
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Joanna: Me too.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Joanna: I know that.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Joanna: You too.
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Joanna: It was, wasnt it?
Joanna: So...
Joanna: What?
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Joanna: Wasnt it?
Joanna: Dont spoil it.
Joanna: Why?
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joanna: Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)
Joanna: I cant!!
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Joanna: What?! What would make you think that?
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
Mrs. Lynch: Joanna passed away last night.
Joanna: Done!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink ing binge.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said hed call. Why hasnt he called?
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Rachel: My boss, Joanna? Wow, that mustve been awkward.
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
ROSS: Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. [gets the other line] Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. [hangs up the other line] Call Joanna. [back on with Tony] Hi.
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner)
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.