words in movies
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: My boss, Joanna? Wow, that mustve been awkward.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
ROSS: Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. [gets the other line] Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. [hangs up the other line] Call Joanna. [back on with Tony] Hi.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner)
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: Oh, Sophie, I guess you didnt hear about Joanna
Joanna: A couple of hours, I feel awful.
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: I know that.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Joanna: Me too.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Joanna: Wasnt it?
Joanna: You too.
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Joanna: It was, wasnt it?
Joanna: So...
Joanna: What?
Joanna: Why?
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Joanna: Dont spoil it.
Joanna: Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Joanna: I cant!!
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Joanna: What?! What would make you think that?
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Mrs. Lynch: Joanna passed away last night.
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
Joanna: Done!
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink ing binge.
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!