words in movies
ROSS: Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. [gets the other line] Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. [hangs up the other line] Call Joanna. [back on with Tony] Hi.
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Joanna: A couple of hours, I feel awful.
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Rachel: Oh, Sophie, I guess you didnt hear about Joanna
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Joanna: I know that.
Joanna: Me too.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Joanna: You too.
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Joanna: It was, wasnt it?
Joanna: Wasnt it?
Joanna: Why?
Joanna: So...
Joanna: What?
Joanna: Dont spoil it.
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
Joanna: Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Joanna: I cant!!
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Joanna: What?! What would make you think that?
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Mrs. Lynch: Joanna passed away last night.
Joanna: Done!
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink ing binge.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said hed call. Why hasnt he called?
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)