words in movies
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Rachel: My boss, Joanna? Wow, that mustve been awkward.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Joanna: Why?
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Joanna: A couple of hours, I feel awful.
Joanna: I cant!!
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
Joanna: Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Joanna: I know that.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Joanna: Me too.
Joanna: Wasnt it?
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Joanna: You too.
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Joanna: It was, wasnt it?
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Joanna: What?! What would make you think that?
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Joanna: So...
Joanna: What?
Joanna: Dont spoil it.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
Mrs. Lynch: Joanna passed away last night.
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Joanna: Done!
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink ing binge.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said hed call. Why hasnt he called?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
ROSS: Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. [gets the other line] Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. [hangs up the other line] Call Joanna. [back on with Tony] Hi.
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Rachel: Oh, Sophie, I guess you didnt hear about Joanna
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?