words in movies
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Joey: What's the matter?!
Joey: All right, I'll take care of it.
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Joey: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister.
Joey: Chandler.
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay, great!
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Joey: Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Joey: Yeah!
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true.
Joey: Really? Who-who have you taught?
Joey: Yeah that'd be great! Thanks Pheebs!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)
Joey: Umm, okay.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Joey: No.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler bangs the table in frustration.)
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Joey: You look like a freak.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Joey: Yes! Yes, I did.
Joey: (thinks) (quietly) G-sharp.
Phoebe: G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? (Joey doesn't answer.) Have you? (He looks away in shame.) Oh my God!
Joey: What?! I didn't touch a guitar!
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Joey: Your other student, was you!
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
Joey: (answering phone) Hello?
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Joey: Uhh, Chandler's not here.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Nice!
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Joey: Umm, do you see anyoh, Vaseline?
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
Joey: Well, I'm justif the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Joey: What-what is it, what is it?
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Joey: And you're not supposed to be gossiping!!
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Joey: I'm not listening to you!
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Joey: Hey, Pheebs?
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Joey: (sitting back down) Was the chord at least right
Joey: Howdy partner!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Joey: Umm?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Joey: Do you know something?
Joey: I might know something.
Joey: What's the thing you know?
Joey: I can't tell you what I know.
Joey: Okay, fine.
Joey: You don't know!
Joey: (gasps) YOU KNOW!!!!
Joey: Yeah, I know!!!!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
JOEY: Hat, milk, got it.
JOEY: No, seriously.
JOEY: You wanna smell him?
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: (Spreading his arms wide) Yes.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
JOEY: Yeah.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Annabelle: You bet. (to Joey) Maybe some other time?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
JOEY: I'm him.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Yes! Whew!
JOEY: Ahh!
JOEY: Heads.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
JOEY: Yes! There's still pie.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
JOEY: No problem. Hey Chandler
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
JOEY: Ok.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number?
JOEY: The guy still won't put out, huh?
JOEY: Ok. He kept my dollar.
JOEY: Maybe he's. . . gay.
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
JOEY: Do we need a cake?
JOEY: What?
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
PHOE: Hey Joey.
JOEY: And?
JOEY: So, so how did it happen?
JOEY: All right Phoebs, way to go.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: This man is my God.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
JOEY: Cool.
JOEY: Tongue?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey thats your wife youre talking about!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: You could say that.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
JOEY/CHAN: Ohhh.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
JOEY: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
JOEY: You got a better idea?
Joey: Yeah, in a poem maybe.
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.
JOEY: Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
JOEY: Oh my God.