words in movies
[Scene: Joey's place. Rachel and Joey are talking]
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Joey: Just flip!
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Hey!
Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
(Joey takes the bubble wrap off his head)
Joey: You guys hear a ringing?
Joey: Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya!
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Joey: (entering the room) Hey.
Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second.
Joey: Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, ok?
Joey: What did I just say?
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning!
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh?
[Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.]
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
(Rachel and Joey hug, and Rachel turns to enter the apartment through the side window again. At that moment Joey tries to climb over the edge of the balcony.)
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Joey: (still very emotional) Lucky bastard!
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. (he mimes hitting his head with his fist)
Chandler: (to Joey) You couldn't be cool. (he goes to the guest bedroom)
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Who's that dirty old lady?
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Joey: Chandler, wait, wait, wait...
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: A little more.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Joey: Yeah. All right, now give me your best shot.
Joey: (in pain) Doesn't work... (he falls down on on his knees with his head on the floor)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
All: Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.
Joey: Im sorry Dutch, I didnt get that last little bit.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Joey: (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice!
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Joey: What? Mine arent tinted.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Joey: Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball.
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, shes really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, yknow, to give her some advice.
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Joey: (to Chandler) Heard about the leg burnin huh?
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?
Joey: David Lynn! David Lynn! David Lynn!! (Exits)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)