words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey: Rach, he just saw us.
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
Joey: Ross?
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.]
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: No, no, no!
Joey: Probably.
Joey: No, no!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Ross..
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Joey: I do like fajitas.
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...
Joey: In a carriage!
Joey: Hey, Charlie!
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Joey: Oh. Oh, thanks.
Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Joey: Uh, actually, that's..
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Rachel: Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Joey: Morning. Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Joey: That's what I hear, yeah.
Joey: Come on, I mean, you know me, you know...
Ross: Joey.
Joey: I'm crazy about her.
Joey: I think so.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Joey: And we're okay?
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
JOEY: Hat, milk, got it.
JOEY: No, seriously.
JOEY: You wanna smell him?
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: (Spreading his arms wide) Yes.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
JOEY: Yeah.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Annabelle: You bet. (to Joey) Maybe some other time?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
JOEY: I'm him.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Yes! Whew!
JOEY: Ahh!
JOEY: Heads.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
JOEY: Yes! There's still pie.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
JOEY: No problem. Hey Chandler
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
JOEY: Ok.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number?
JOEY: The guy still won't put out, huh?
JOEY: Ok. He kept my dollar.
JOEY: Maybe he's. . . gay.
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
JOEY: Do we need a cake?
JOEY: What?
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
PHOE: Hey Joey.
JOEY: And?
JOEY: So, so how did it happen?
JOEY: All right Phoebs, way to go.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: This man is my God.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
JOEY: Cool.
JOEY: Tongue?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey thats your wife youre talking about!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: You could say that.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
JOEY/CHAN: Ohhh.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
JOEY: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
JOEY: You got a better idea?
Joey: Yeah, in a poem maybe.
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.
JOEY: Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
JOEY: Oh my God.