words in movies
JOEY: Hey.� How come you're answering your own phone?� Where's your crazy assistant?
JOEY: Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
JOEY: Yeah.� Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.
CHANDLER: Joey just called.� He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
JOEY: Hey!� How come the door's locked?
CHANDLER: (hushed) No, no, no, no, no.� Joey can't know that I'm here.
JOEY: Hey!� Open the door.� What's going on?� (He knocks.)
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
JOEY: Oh, I thought I heard a man's voice before.
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
CHANDLER: It's Joey.� (He answers it, holding it out so that Monica can hear too.)� Hey Joe.
JOEY: Dude, come home!
JOEY: COME . . .� HOME.
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
JOEY: (outside the apartment door) I just heard him!
JOEY: (listens at the door.)� No.� (pause) All right, I'm going in.
JOEY: I heard him again!
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
MONICA: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
[Scene: The hallway and stairs outside Chandler and Monica's apartment.� Chandler enters from the stairs.� Joey is sitting with a baseball bat.]
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
(Joey thinks a moment. Then, he nods.� Joey follows Chandler into the apartment.)
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
CHANDLER: Joey said that you're in here with another man.
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
JOEY: (emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.
JOEY: (sniffing the air and then Monica.)� Why do I smell men's cologne?
MONICA: (sniffing Joey) I think that's you.
JOEY: (sniffs his shirt.)� Oh yeah.� I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.
JOEY: I guess not.
MONICA: I can't believe you thought I was cheating.� (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.
JOEY: Yeah, right Monica.� I'm so sorry.
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
JOEY: What's going on?
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
MONICA: Joey?
JOEY: Yeah?� (His eyes bug out.)
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
JOEY: All right.
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
JOEY: Thanks man.
JOEY: Where are you going?
(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
Joey: Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Joey: London baby!
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Joey: (louder) London baby!!
Joey: Bye, Pheebs!
Joey: More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! (Rachel just looks at him.) I didnt say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me!
Joey: Come on! Do something!
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)
Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: Really? To what?
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Joey: (answering phone) Stop callin!!
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Joey: But what does that gonna do...
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, I embarrass you?
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Joey: Thanks.
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: Whos seven?
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!
Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Joey: Two pizzas?!
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
JOEY: Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Joey: Whats in it?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Joey: Thats Fergie baby!!
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Joey: Oh-no, dont try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!
Joey: Wow, what-what do you think she wants?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ohh great!!!
[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]
Joey: Ahh Pheebs, you know youre still my number one girl.
RACHEL: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
Joey: Right!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Joey: Hey, Felicity.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, yeah.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Joey: (entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)
Joey: No.
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Joey: Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Joey: Dont you ah, dont you wanna ask me any questions?
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
(Joey walks up to them.)