words in movies
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: (enters) Hey guys.
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Joey: no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
Joey: (turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow!
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
Joey: (understanding) Oh.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: (having difficulty admitting it) Yeah, maybe.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: (frightened) What?
Joey: That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Chandler: You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Joey: Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey's on the phone.]
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
JOEY: How far'd ya get?
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Ah!! Okay! Eyes open at all times! Oh, hey, how do we decide where we... (clears throat) y'know each would, (clears throat again) y'know (pause) be?
(She puts her head on Joey's shoulder and Joey kisses her on her head.)
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Joey: Huh, un, blu, bla, flu, flenk!
Joey: What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!!
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Joey: What do you have against the duck?! He doesnt make any noise!
[And with that we go into the save the budget portion of the show, which features flashbacks from previous episodes. The first set of auditions feature high lights or low lights of Joeys acting career. The first flashback is from The One With The Lesbian Wedding.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Chandler: (to Joey) You are really frightening me.
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Joey: Rach?! (He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either) Rachel!!!!? (He walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.) So I can't do anything I like????
Joey: (pointing at himself) Growth!
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:
Joey: (to his team) All right, huddle up, right over here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Joey: Listen, I ah, I know its a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny?
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
Joey: Oh-ho, yeah!
Joey: Hey I was crying because, because nobody believed Quincys theory. Okay?
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7.)
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
JOEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk.
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Joey: No, in Ross's building! (He throws Rachel onto the chair and heads to the window.) She's back! She's back! (Pantomimes) Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. (He counts where she is again.) Got it! (Runs out and does a little hot over a chair.)
Joey: Nah, Im too depressed to eat. Ill probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess Ill just fly home with you guys, what times your flight?
Joey: (slightly irritated)I'm not really comfortable with these questions!
Joey: Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Joey: Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island?
Joey: I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Fights over!
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Salami, anchovies, jam!
Joey: Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
Joey: A meatball Sub? Thanks! (he got a meatball sandwich)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Joey: Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Joey: Yes! Excellent! Perfect score!
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, The salesman is trying to sell Joey the encyclopedias.]
Joey: Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!
Joey: Ohh-oh, wasnt he cheating on you with her?
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)
Joey: Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?
Joey: No, no, no. My hugs are reserved for people STAYING IN AMERICA.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Phoebe: They give you away! Theres just-theres just too much wisdom in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.
Joey: No, no, no! (Starts looking around the room, terrified) Don't drop by, don't drop by!
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.]
Joey: Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?
[Scene: Joey is back at Hayleys apartment.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
Joey: Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!