words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are playing with the duck and the chick.]
Joey: Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Joey: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Joey: Yeah, right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
Joey: Well what is it?!
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
Joey: Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince.
Joey: Oh sure, go with the sissy.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
Joey: Look at this! A millionaire's checkbook.
Monica: Joey, put that down! (the phone rings) Oh my God! It's Pete. Okay, get out!! How the hell do you answer a video-phone! (steps in front of it, and automatically answers it)
Joey: Hi, how ya doing?
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
(Joey laughs, Ross glares at him, and Joey stops.)
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Joey: So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there?
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea. (Exits.)
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: What the hell!
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Hello?
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
<Joey realizes what she's doing>
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Please!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
<Joey nods in agreement>
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey I got one! I got one!
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.