words in movies
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is asleep and snoring loudly. Chandler enters wondering who left their engine running.]
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Joey: (joining in, in his sleep) Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!!
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Chandler: Oh, okay, thanks. (He goes back to the couch and rejoins Monica, Joey, and Phoebe.)
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
Joey: (proudly) Oh, you should here me.
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Joey: Ohhh, yeah!
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
(Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.)
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Joey: You cant do anything!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is complaining about going to the clinic.]
Joey: This sucks! I didnt know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! Im so tired!
Joey: Yeah, well
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Joey: I am (Looks in his date book.) free!
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
[Scene: The Sleep Clinic, Joey is having trouble staying awake.]
Joey: Joey Tribbiani.
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin?
Joey: What?!
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Chandler: Well shes, shes the kinda girlJoey was unconscious.
(Joey enters, wearing a mouth guard like boxers wear.)
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
(Joey totally agrees with this statement and kicks his feet up.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Joey: Now you cant tell anyone, but uh I put on shiny lip balm.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Joey: (interrupting him) Don't do it!
Joey: All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. Im gonna go see my agent.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
[Chandler and Joey come sprinting in]
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: How about Joey... Pepponi?
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
Joey: (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: Ohh.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Joey: Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Which goes where?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: You got screwed.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Joey: Shut up!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)