words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: Uhhh, mine too! Yeah.
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
(Joey howls in pain and holds his eye.)
Joey: Yeah, I got too excited!
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Joey: It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, "Where's Betsy?" Right? And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Joey: All right! Thanks Pheebs!
Joey: Oh umm, not go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
Joey: I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?
Joey: Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Joey: (quickly) Yes!
Joey: Peanut butter!
Joey: A swimmer!
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Joey: Ascot!
Joey: North route!
Joey: Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come!
Joey: Hey man, what's up?
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
Joey: I don't know. But hey, I know we can decide. Okay, I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick. Okay?
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Joey: Uh no, not really. It's an independent film y'know? So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room.
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: You got it!
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Joey: Bye-bye!
Joey: Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car?
Joey: See ya! (Walks out.)
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Don't worry, it's out there! (Just then a horn honks and Joey quickly looks at the road.) I think I just need lunch.
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Joey: Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat?
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: Dude you said, "No!"
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Joey: I don't believe this!
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Joey: Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break.
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Joey: Get out!!
Chandler: All right!! (Gets out and Joey speeds away.) Wait! Wait, there's no sidewalk! Yeah, I'm gonna die here.
Chandler: Joey kicked me out of the car on the George Washington bridge!
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
Joey: Wh-what?! Why?!
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Joey: What?!
Joey: Uh, hang out?! How long?
Joey: No!
Stanley: Eh, worth a shot. (Gets into his car.) Look Joey, let me know where you're staying, okay? (The car peels away.)
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
Monica: Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star!
Joey: Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you!
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
Joey: (Looking around) Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there?
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again.
Joey: Whats the rush? What?
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, what is it?
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Joey: Fine!
Joey: Fine!
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Joey: (laughing sarcastically) Ok, Rach!
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Joey: How ya doin?
Joey: There was a seen in Footloose...
Joey: Anything I can do? Whatever you need.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Joey: (looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?
Joey: (standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.
Joey: Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?
Rachel: Oh. (They leave, leaving just Joey and Ross.)
Joey: (whispering) Ross!
Ross: Joey!
Joey: Come here, check this out!
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.
Joey: (covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)
Joey: Come on!
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli.
Joey: No.
Joey: Well all right so, it looks like were even!
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Joey: I can't believe I won.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey and Ross are still trying to figure out how to get down.]
Joey: Yeah? Really? No ones home?
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: All right! Just hurry up!
Joey: Dont worry about that man, that happens.
Joey: Face to face, yeah!
Joey: I think face to face.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joeys legs.)
Joey: Hey.
Joey: No. No. No.
Joey: (laughs) Why would you want to do that?
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: No. Rosita does not move.
Joey: Thats true.
Rachel: Joey, Joey I am so sorry.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is entering.]
Rachel: Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes.
Joey: (entering, dejectedly) Hey.
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler has replaced Rosita with his chair.]
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.
Joey: No I wont.
Joey: Because, I know what I like and what I dont like! Its not the same thing!
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Rachel: Joey, I really dont
Joey: No its not weird, its a miracle!
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Joey: Someone like an angel?
Joey: Poor thing. Cut down in her prime.
Joey: Miracle!
Rachel: Its not a miracle Joey! Im sure theres some explanation.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Kristen: Joey!
Joey: No. Really?
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Joey: Fine.
Joey: (entering) Kristen?