words in movies
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Joey: No!
Joey: No!
Joey: Nooo!
Joey: Yes!!
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Joey: Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today!
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Rachel: Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.
Joey: Whoa! Okay. Yeah well, who-who was in World War I? (Rachel pauses as she thinks.)
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
Joey: Yeah! Me too. (He pats his pocket.)
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Joey: Im doing my scenes with you?
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Joey: I think you did.
Joey: Uh Cookie?
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Joey: (wiping his face) What?!
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!
(Joey wipes his eye.)
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]
Joey: Hey! Where have you been?
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Joey: Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!
Joey: All right.
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Joey: Picture? What picture?
Joey: Okay uh, look I know youre a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff
Joey: But youre spittin all over me man!
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Joey: Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! (Reading from the script) Picture? What picture? (He pauses then spits) Eh?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Joey: What picture?!
Joey: You went through my personal property?
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Joey: Great scene yeah?
Joey: Thanks a lot.
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Joey: Oh, Im-Im not working tomorrow.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is reporting for work.]
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Im having surgery!
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Joey: Transplant.
Joey: Hair transplant.
Joey: Its not on my head.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Are you drunk?
Joey: Yes you are!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Joey: What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
Joey: Thank you. Thank you.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Joey: (on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Im still on the set!
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Joey: Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guys hammered!
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Joey: Yeah! You you were wonderful.
Joey: So I got your car, its right outside.
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Chandler: Are you Joey?
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Joey: Chandler?
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Joey: Yeah you do!
Joey: Aw crap! Okayuh uh lets-lets do the rings.
Joey: We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
Joey: (simultaneously) Oh my God!!! I cant believe that!!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Aaaah
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesnt see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Joey: You just give him a spoon baby!
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
Joey laughs: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Joey: What is it?
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Joey: You cooked him?
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Joey: Either eat it, or be in it.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Joey: All right.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Cheese makes me thirsty.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
[Time Lapse, dinner has ended for everyone except Joey who looks like to have finished the turkey, until he turns the plate around and reveals he only ate one side.]
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Joey: So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there?
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea. (Exits.)
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: What the hell!
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Hello?
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
<Joey realizes what she's doing>
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Please!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
<Joey nods in agreement>
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?