words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Oh, I love you too.
Joey: Thats always appropriate! (Back to the matter at hand) Oh, okay. One more push! One more push!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Joey: Aaaah
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Joey: Really?!
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Joey: Oh my, oh my God!
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Oh thats amazing. (Drops the sheet.)
Joey: Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Joey: Hey! So?
Joey: So but everything is normal.
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Joey: Well what do I know?! Im not a doctor!
Joey: You sure?!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Joey: Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Joey: Hey uh, whats with the candy?
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Joey: Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin?
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
Joey: Sure. "Monica."
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, I just I feel terrible.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad.
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Joey: Maybe you two should live together.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Joey: All right now, so? What do you think?
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Joey: Well, I was due.
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Joey: So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there?
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea. (Exits.)
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: What the hell!
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Hello?
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
<Joey realizes what she's doing>
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Please!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
<Joey nods in agreement>
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey I got one! I got one!
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.