words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Joey: So uh, you and Mona, been a while now. Hows it going?
Joey: Hot?
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Joey: Yeah!
Chandler: And Joey.
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Joey: So you uh, nervous about getting married?
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Chandler: Hi. (Joey blows on a noisemaker.)
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!
Joey: Joey Tribbiani, a big fan.
Joey: Why-why would she go in the bedroom?
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are discussing what to do about the now naked hooker in the guestroom.]
Joey: Wait! Wait! Maybe shes a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what shes supposed to do.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still deciding what to do about the hooker.]
Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Joey: Maybe she wants you to learn something. Huh? Now is there anything youre really bad at yknow, sexually?
Joey: In a minute!
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
Joey: Hey! Its your bachelor party.
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
Joey: You do it!
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: I miss this.
Joey: No, I-I miss hanging out with you.
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Joey: Oh sureAnd hey, dont get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just I miss hanging out just-just us, yknow?
Joey: You got it. Come here. (They hug and are observed by the hooker.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Joey: So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there?
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea. (Exits.)
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: What the hell!
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Hello?
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
<Joey realizes what she's doing>
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Please!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
<Joey nods in agreement>
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey I got one! I got one!
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.