words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: I guess.
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
Ross: Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. Ill guess just Ill come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: Dear Lord.
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
(Joey enters.)
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Joey: I can come back.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: No.
Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Ahhh!
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt I didnt propose!
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.}
Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Joey: Yknow what you guys? Im uh, Im gonna go too. And uh, Im sorry about everything.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Ross: When you thought Joey proposed did did you say yes?
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Joey: Hey! How is New England not a state? Huh? They have a sports-team!
Joey: If you want some privacy you can use my hole.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Quincy M.E. as Chandler is walking into the living room from his bedroom.]
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Receptionist: We already got the results back on that on, and theyre not good. (Joey beats a hasty retreat.)
Joey: Je de coup Clow.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Oh, want a good name, go with Joey. Joeys your pal. Joeys your buddy. "Where is everybody?" "Well, theyre hanging out with Joey."
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
(Joey looks down and his look turns from shock to satisfaction.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, is practicing his slipknots as Monica enters.]
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
(Enter Joey)
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
(Joey places the toliet brush and holder over the hole, which is in the middle of the floor.)
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Joey (checks the refrigerator): Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.
Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Joey: (looking a little agitated now) Looks like someone IS the ladies!!
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is entering to find Chandler waiting patiently for him.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!
Joey: H-h-h-hows the duck?
Chandler: I dont know! Joey hasnt had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Chandler: Joey kicked me out of the car on the George Washington bridge!
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.
Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joey: I can give it a shot.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: So, did you err... did you tell Ross?
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?
Joey: We were gonna go see the Jets!
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella.
Joey: Ascot!
Joey: Well, were fashioning a very long poking device.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with mens underwear!
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Joey: Okay! (He scurries out the set door and re-enters, extremely impressed) All right!
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad
[The next one is from Episode 604: The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance.]
Joey: Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant.
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Joey: All right, who got Chandler? Cause I uh, need to trade.
Joey: Ah, he cant make it, he said he had to his... (sees Ginger) Whoa-oh! (hides behind the coat rack.)
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Joey: (abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends.