words in movies
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Joshua: Also large?
Joshua: Okay.
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Gloves?
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Joshua: All those things I said about not being ready
Joshua: They-they-they can smell fear.
Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Joshua: Yknow, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, were-were-were-were-were clicking.
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Joshua: (coming in from a changing room) Okay!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joshua: Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually.
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Joshua: My marriage like just ended, and Im really not ready to get into anything yet.
Joshua: Wow! That would be great.
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Okay. So, can I serve you a little ofWhat? What? What? (She sees that Joshua isnt relaxed.)
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.