words in movies
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
KID: Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Kid: Trick or treat!
Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kids pretzel at them.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Rachel: Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Chandler: Yes, but havent you wanted a kid like forever?
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Ross: Man! Did you see the kid on that nose?
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Rachel: Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid.
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Smart Kid: Isnt the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic?
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Ross: Look Rach I-Im sorry, okay? I I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Kid: No.
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
(Sarah enters the room again, and stops when she sees her dessert is missing. Joey has emptied her plate, and has a chocolate covered mouth, just like a kid.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Ross: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
[little kid enters]
KID: [shouting out the door] She's here.
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Elizabeth: Yeah, Ive been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandmas.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!