words in movies
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Oh, I didnt know you liked football.
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Yknow, its been a while since weve screamed something. Maybe we should.
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Will: I dont know? Do I? Do I?
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
Monica: I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called!
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
Dr. Green: You know whats really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
Joey: Listen, I ah, I know its a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny?
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
RACH: Ehhhummmm, I don't know, why don't you taste it.
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!
Ross: I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that?
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
RACHEL: But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had.
Rachel: Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
Ross: That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel!
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: I dont know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
Rachel: Yeah? Wow! Yknow, that this thing has speakers in the headrest!
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Monica: I would love too, but I cant! I mean I just cant, you know that Im not good at confrontation.
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Rachel: Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Cliff: Well uh if you must know Im a widower.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Rachel: Uh, I don't have any brothers so I don't know, but uh, did you guys wrestle?
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
Rachel: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.