words in movies
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly)
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebes secret?
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Monica: Oh! (Laughs and points at the mask.) Him.
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Ross: Shh! (Laughs then composes himself) Of course, why dont we go inside?
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
[Scene: Central Perk, all but Chandler are there, Joey laughs for no apparent reason.]
The Salesman: Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.")
Rachel: (laughs) Well okayWell dont ruin it! Just play along at least!
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Lisa: He fell down once! And we re-did it and we went back. And he(laughs)he was afraid he was gonna fall down
Steve: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Parker: (laughs) Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? (Puts hand on her stomach)
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, yknow what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself. (laughs uneasily and Sarah leaves the room)
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Phoebe: (ignoring him and continuing her conversation) That's what I'm saying. (Laughs.)
(Ross fake laughs, obviously not finding this funny, and hes starting to panic, so he shoves the whole saltwater taffy hes eating in his mouth)
(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)
(Ursula's eyes dance as she laughs and smiles, simply glad to be back with her sister.)
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
Mr. Franklin: (laughs) Thats a good one. (Walks away.)
Chip: ...and then Zana, just let one rip!! (laughs histerically)
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Matt: (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could get through it with a straight face.
Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch! (laughs nervously)
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
(Gunther looks at the joke and laughs.)
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
(Joey laughs, Ross glares at him, and Joey stops.)
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: (laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
(Everyone laughs.)
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
(Monica laughs and snorts.)
(Chandler laughs)
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Joey: Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)
Rachel: Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? (Laughs) Good luck, Rach.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get.
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
(Everybody laughs.)
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
Ross: No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Rachel: (laughs) You know what?
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
(Rachel laughs.)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Monica: Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, (Laughs) but I still do.
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Rachel: (reading the note) "Pheebs, cant make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?