words in movies
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
[Everyone looks at each other in amazement.]
PHOE: [looks at Russ] Oh, yeah! No, no, no, no, oh, oh.
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
Jamie: It looks like her.
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
(He walks over, but just before he knocks on the door, he hears some moans and looks shocked.)
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Monica: Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Rachel: (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad...
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
Chandler: (smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.
RACH: [looks at him] Huh, Bob Saget?
Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys?
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
(Long pause... Joey looks confused.)
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Rachel: (Looks at him) You're so pretty.
(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Rachel: (looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!
CHANDLER: Yeah well, I hear the place looks great.
(Everyone looks at him, confused.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
(The gang all looks at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
(Robert looks down and realises the problem.)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
(Both Rachel and Monica walk into their bedrooms, stop, and come back into the living room with confused looks on their faces.)
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?