words in movies
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
Ross: Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Ross: Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
(The dog returns with a ball that looks exactly like the same one Joey has.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Joey: (He looks around the room) This isnt the right room, sorry folks. (leaves)
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
(Ross looks away, not bothering)
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Phoebe: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Ross looks down: No, that that is not what we're saying.
(Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh)
(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge.
Joey: Uhm... (looks down) Yeah... this uhm... raccoon came in...
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
(Chandler's cell phone rings.� He looks at it.)
Jim: Yeah, (looks at his crotch) a Pretty Huge
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
(Monica looks at him.)
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Chandler: (awakens) Yeah! (Looks up and does The Face.)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Rachel: (looks puzzled) How...how...?
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused)
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
Rachel: (Looks ashamed) I try...
Monica: What? (looks very shocked) Why?
(Everyone looks at her)
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
(He looks at his bedroom door, but he can't remember the name of the girl.)
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(Chandler looks dejected. Rachel picks up another gift.)
Rachel: ...I really don't... (looks around again)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
(Monica looks shocked)