words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
{Transcibers note: In case you havent heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For theyre all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are }
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Monica: Rach! We werent gonna miss our friends getting married!
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
(They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did in fact get married.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Rachel: Okay! So, well just stay married.
Rachel: What-wh-what so well just stay married forever?!
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Ross: Get married.
Ross: Yes! Were getting married?!
Emily: Were getting married!
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Monica: Im getting married next!!
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I havent really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Gunther: Hes getting married tomorrow right?
Rachel: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Monica: (to Ross) I cant believe youre getting married!
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Monica: Oh, my mothers right. Im never going to get married.
Monica: Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month!
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Ross: Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Monica: Yep, we wanna get married!
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Russell: You got married again.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Ross: Although I was married to her.
Stephanie: Well the divorces dont bother me, Id date him. But, not while hes still married.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: All right, Ive never been engaged and Ive never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband.
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Ross: Hey, I've been married 3 times
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Rachel: Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Joey: You got married to fast.
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Rachel: Good day for married people huh?
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Monica: Yeah! So-so when are you getting married?
Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! Im not getting married! Im not even engaged.
Paul: You two were married?!
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Rachel: Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian!
Megan: Im just kidding. Im getting married July 25th.
Megan: (To Monica) So when are you getting married?
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Phoebe: Yes, and now hes using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Monica: Well, yknow its none of my business, but arent you married?
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!