words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
{Transcibers note: In case you havent heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For theyre all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are }
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Monica: Rach! We werent gonna miss our friends getting married!
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
(They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did in fact get married.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Rachel: Okay! So, well just stay married.
Rachel: What-wh-what so well just stay married forever?!
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Monica: (to Ross) I cant believe youre getting married!
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Monica: Oh, my mothers right. Im never going to get married.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month!
Monica: Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Ross: Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January?
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Yep, we wanna get married!
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Stephanie: Well the divorces dont bother me, Id date him. But, not while hes still married.
Ross: Although I was married to her.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Russell: You got married again.
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think.
Phoebe: All right, Ive never been engaged and Ive never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Ross: Hey, I've been married 3 times
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Rachel: Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Rachel: Good day for married people huh?
Paul: You two were married?!
Megan: Im just kidding. Im getting married July 25th.
Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! Im not getting married! Im not even engaged.
Monica: Yeah! So-so when are you getting married?
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Rachel: Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian!
Megan: (To Monica) So when are you getting married?
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Monica: Well, yknow its none of my business, but arent you married?
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Phoebe: Yes, and now hes using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Kristen: Youve been married twice?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Monica: Phoebe, were getting married, married; not sixth grade married.
Rachel: Well, yeah, right, yknow what? Yeah, youre right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if (Grunts uncomprehensively) I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Yknow? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound yknow, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married?
Rachel: Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next?
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.