words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, hes really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Parker: Why dont all of you tell me a little about your self?
Parker: Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history? {Transcribers Note: Interestingly Alec Baldwin was born in Massapequa.}
Parker: Ah! Oysters! Let me feed you one.
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Parker: Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam!
Parker: So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy?
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Charlton Heston: Listen to me!
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Big Nosed Rachel: Not for me. Chip and I broke up!
Phoebe: They are gonna love me.
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Phoebe: Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)
Joey: Me too.
Ross: (on machine) "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!"
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Ross: Excuse me?
Rachel: Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me.
Phoebe: Yknow, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Rachel: Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t...
Megan: And now youll see me buying it.
The Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!
Phoebe: So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
Passenger: Ahh, ahh, excuse me.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Rachel: Okay, youre right. Youre right. You cant help me.
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Joey: You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Phoebe: This pregnancy is throwing me all off.
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
Monica: Rachel! Let me in! Rachel!
Monica: Rachel!! Come on! Let me in!
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Joey: What are you mad at me for?!
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Phoebe: All rightOoh! Oh dead God, save me!
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Chandler: Dude, don't do that too me!
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Rachel: Me?!
Monica: Me too.
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.