words in movies
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Mike: You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during...
Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you?
Mike: Oh...
Mike: Uhm... I can't do anything tonight.
Mike: I have a date.
Mike: Oh, it's... my girlfriend.
Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.
Mike: Three months.
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Mike: Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material...
Mike: Hey, it's Mike.
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Mike: Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
(Mike enters the apartment.)
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Mike: Yeah. We have rat babies now.
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Mike: I'll make it a hundred!
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Mike: (sighs) No...
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: Well, come on...
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: A little better.
Mike: Awesome!
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: You do?
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Joey: MIKE!!!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike: I am Mike.
Joey: Mike.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Mike: Yeah?
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: What?!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.