words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
Mike: This is nice.
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Mike: Is it?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.)
Mike: It's to my apartment.
Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Mike: Is this cool, huh?
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike)
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.]
Mike: So... how many guys have your key?
Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.
Mike: Did you uhm...
Mike: ...kiss him?
David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)
Mike: Don't point your finger at me.
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out.
Mike: Well, I might.
Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me?
David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves)
Mike: It's never gonna happen again right?
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
(Mike scores)
Mike: Do you?
Mike: DO YOU?
Mike: Do you?
Mike: That's what I'm thinking.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump.
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back.
Mike: Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41.
Phoebe: Mike wins?
Mike: Ok!
Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat.
Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Mike: Oh...
Mike: Oh, it's... my girlfriend.
Mike: I have a date.
Mike: Uhm... I can't do anything tonight.
Mike: Three months.
Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.
Mike: Hey, it's Mike.
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
(Mike enters the apartment.)
Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it!
Mike: (boasting) Game, point!
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle]
Mike: I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
Mike: Really?
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
Mike: Why?
Mike: Going go to the bathroom.
Mike: Great game, huh?
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Mike: Phoebe, I...
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)
Mike: I'm gonna do this now.
Mike: Ready?
Mike: I love you!
Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!
Mike: Are you serious?
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Mike: Not necessary.
Mike: It does. It feels really good!
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.
Mike: We’re seriously asking for our money back?
Mike: Yeah! This feels really good.
Mike: She could have been talking about either one of us.
Mike: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike enter]
Mike: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back.
Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Mike: What?
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Mike: Lima.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Mike: And "X" is spelled uhm... "Mike Hannigan".
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Mike: Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Mike: Yeah.
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
MIKE: huh.� (pause)� What's the difference between beer and lager?
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Mike: No more so than acting.
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Mike: (thinks a moment) Orchids?
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
(Mike enters the room).
Mike: Hey.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Mike: Joseph.
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
(Mike walks in.)
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I guess.
Mike: Oh, no!
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")