words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Mom, it's OK.
MONICA: That's great.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see.
RACHEL: Oh really, OK. [shows Monica her tattoo]
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
MONICA: Art it is.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
CHANDLER: So whaddya got there Monica?
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
MONICA: Shut up.
MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through?
[Monica goes in the bathroom]
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
MONICA: Cut it out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
MONICA: I was.
Monica: I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.
MONICA: Did she leave a number?
MONICA: I'm not a baby, you're the baby.
Monica: I swear I didnt know she was a hooker! I mean whDid you let her smoke in here?
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
MONICA: Did you like it?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
MONICA: Bite me.
MONICA: It's my TV.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
MONICA: Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.
MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
MONICA: Yeah, thanks. You know what?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
MONICA: Sure.
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
MONICA: So what're you gonna do?
MONICA: Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke.
PHOEBE: Monica.
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
MONICA: Joey.
MONICA: We, we just wanna see the end.
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Monica: Bedsprings, unmistakable!
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
MONICA: Shut up, I'm happy.
MONICA: Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.
Monica: Not necessarily...
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
MONICA: Well yeah.
MONICA: You really ok with it?
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
MONICA: But you've only slept with two people.
MONICA: Well, it just seems like a really small number.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
RICHARD: Monica.
MONICA: There's only one.
MONICA: You need one too?
MONICA: No.
MONICA: Yeah.
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: Ill take care of it.
MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Wait, he's not here yet.
MONICA: Alright.
MONICA: Blow drying what, you have no hair.
[Monica enters from her bedroom.]