words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
Monica: Okay.
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Monica: No leg-chewing for us sir.
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Monica: Are we gonna take a limo?
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Monica: Star in a movie.
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Monica: Okay, how much?
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hey! Howd it go?
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Monica: Do it!
Ross: Monica!
Monica: What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Monica: Oh, okay!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Monica: Two hundred.
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Monica: How are you doing?
Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk?
Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: What?! I just touched him and he went over.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Monica: Hey, you wanna see something?
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Monica: Hey. (Sits down on the arm of the couch.)
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Monica: What?
Monica: So were gonna try? I mean, are we trying?
Monica: What?!!
Monica: We are pretty good.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, not here. Maybe here.
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
Monica: Well, we could start trying. Now.
Monica: Okay, hold on a sec.
Monica: And its so clean!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Monica: (bursting into tears) My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Monica: I think we found a place.
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
Monica: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
Monica: yeah oh my god, I'm so moved.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Monica: Whats the matter?
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Take it.
Monica: I dont want to say.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Monica: I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much.
Monica: About what?
Monica: Isnt she beautiful?
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Monica: Umm, and looking at people differently.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.