words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Monica: Hi, nice to meet you!
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Monica: What was that?
Monica: That noise you just made?
Monica: Really? Your work laugh?
Monica: All right, check me out.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Monica: Really?
Monica: Hey, I thought you already had one.
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Monica: Hi!
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Monica: Uhh, not much. Uh, work's good.
Monica: Okay. Umm
Monica: Okay, what's going on with you?
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
[Scene: A tennis court somewhere in the city of New York, it's the doubles match-up of a century Chandler and Monica versus Doug and Kara.]
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Monica: Game!
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Monica: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said.
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Monica: They have racquets don't they?!
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Monica: I got it!!
Chandler: Long! (Gives Monica the Work Laugh.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Monica: I can't believe you let them win!
Monica: I was frustrated.
Monica: I was frustrated with you!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Monica: I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
Monica: My turn? What-what are you talking about?
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big (Thinks) ot.
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Monica: Oh, none for me. Thanks.
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Monica: I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Monica: I thought you could use the help.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
Monica: I know! It's just that ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend.
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
Monica: Okay great!
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Monica: Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: I'll get back to my new job.
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Monica: Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, the others are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Monica: Well its I mean Id justId be self-conscious. Youre my friend; Id be naked.
Monica: (chasing her) Youd better run!
Monica: (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Monica: C'mon guys, it'll be fun!
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Monica: Hes with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
Monica: Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
[cut to later, Monicas team has the ball.]
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
Monica: Come on! Come on! Hurry! Were running out of time! Huddle up!
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Monica: You got a callback too didn't you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
MONICA: Oh, dad, turn it off.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Monica: All right! Let's go! (Runs to the door.) Let's go Team Monica! (The guys all stop and stare at her) All right, we can work out the name later.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
(Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.)
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Monica: Yeah, well hes my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: (leaving) I'm outta here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]