words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: Ok, so you've done some good work! (pause) What about your carry-ons?
Monica and Ross: Seven.
Monica: Let me see!
Monica: You know what? You can have mine.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Monica: How dirty do you think I am? Im telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Monica: (stunned) I-Im the head chef. I-I cant get promoted.
Monica: Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month!
Monica: Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am.
Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Monica: Thank you!
Monica: Oh..please!I-I welcome criticism.
Monica: Great!
Monica: What musician?
Monica: What are you doing here!
Monica: Listen Phoebe...
Monica: This is kind of a classy place.
Monica: You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but...
(Monica covers her face with her hands)
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Joey: Oh, all right, I can ask Monica.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: A love scene? With who?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the sofa]
Monica: What do you think brought than on?
Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?
Monica: It was hard!
Rachel and Monica: Hi.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
Monica: Tiny portions?
Monica: My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
Monica: I didn't say your songs were not good enough.
(Monica comes out)
Monica: Ok, you have to stop playing now.
Monica: Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on!
Monica: Well, y'know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high school?
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Monica: I'm sorry...
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Monica: ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner?
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Monica: It sounds interesting!
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Monica: (she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, no, Rachel?
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Monica: In the hall.
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Monica: Which one?
Monica: Both of them?
Monica: (whispering) You can't!
Monica: Who, who are they?
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
Monica: Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated.
Monica: What's so bad about that?
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe, it's not about quantity.
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Monica: (to Ross) So, did you two have fun?
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Monica: You're not sick!
Rachel: Sure! (Monica takes her apart) Oh...
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Monica: (aloud) WHAT?
Monica: Ok, what is this?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Monica: Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Joey: Monica!
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.