words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Monica: Ok.
Monica: But ehm...what is it not?
Monica: And what else is it not?
Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?
Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Monica: How do you know she's gonna start talking?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Monica: God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade.
Monica: Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?
Monica: (smiling)That was a good day!
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Rachel: (to Monica)What's going on?
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!
Monica: Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.
Monica: Alright, who wants to do it?
Monica: Ok, hey Rach?
Monica: Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right?
Monica: Right! .. but we "know" what you're wishing for!
Monica: I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you?
Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Monica: Come on, lottery!! (everybody cheers)
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Monica: I'm sorry, idea time is over.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand!
Monica: Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken!
Monica: Chandler, sense the tone!!
Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Monica: Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago!
Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!
Rachel: Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends?
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Monica: Ahhh! (shocked)
Monica: There's the man I married!!
Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica)
Everyone but Monica: Friends!
Monica: Money! (they all look at her) Friends...
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Ross: Monica!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Monica: Oh, play them!
Monica: Oh God, I am so sorry honey...
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
Monica: (she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss)
Monica: We are on a roll, people!!
Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich!
Monica: Make me rich!!
Monica: Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No!
Monica: (answering phone) Hello? Hold on. It's your boss.
Monica: Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you!
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
Chandler: (smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.
Monica and Ross: Seven.
Monica: Let me see!
Monica: You know what? You can have mine.
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Monica: They'r alright.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
Monica: And I have costumes.
Monica: Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when theyre hungry.
Monica: Oh, sure it does! In high school, you werent jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you!
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Monica: Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry?
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.
Monica: Hey! Didnt you have that outfit on last night?
Monica: And Phoebe is his friend, so he thinks that would be breaking the rules!
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Monica: Yknow, I-I I have to figure some stYknow, some stuff before I can
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?
Monica: (re-entering) Im gonna start getting ready! (Goes back into her room.)
Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
MONICA: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.
Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Monica and Joey: One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi.
[cut to the living room of the same dwelling, where the funeral guests are mingling. Monica enters.]
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
CHANDLER: Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles.
Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.
Monica: What are you talking about?! 007 has all those gadgets!
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
MONICA: Alright, but I'm very excited about this OK, so you gotta promise you won't get all big-brothery and judgmental.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Rachel are consoling Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.]
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Monica: Oh God bless my dad sound proofing the basement!
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Monica: (looking through it) Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.
Mr. Geller: Wait, how do you zoom out? (zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich) There she is.
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. Youre probably just gonna catch her just as shes about to go to the gate. Youre gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And shes gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
Monica: Yeah! Roses or Lilies? (Holds up a picture of each.)
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Chandler: (getting out a ring box) Monica
Monica: Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will.
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Monica: What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Huh�did you smoke?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
MONICA: Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency.
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Monica: Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
(Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.)
Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Monica: He doesn't have anyone.
Monica: I hope youre hungry, were starting with oysters. And yknow what they say about oysters, dont you?
Monica: (holding her hand in front of her face) When you were little you slept through-through the Grand Canyon.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
Monica: No, I-I havent seen your pink shirt.
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Phoebe is giving Monica another massage.]
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Monica: Well, I was going for wrong, but we can use your word.
(Monica goes over and dials their number.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Monica: Don't say it. (closes Ethan's mouth with her hand)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Ugh, shes upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! Im not doing them this time! I dont care if those dishes sit in the sink until theyre all covered withIll do them when I get home!
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!