words in movies
Monica: (in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB!
Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.
Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
Monica: Oh, well... That had been your window.
Monica: Really? The scientist guy?
Monica: Continue...
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Monica: What are you gonna do?
Monica: You have to tell David!
Monica: Heeeeeey!
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Monica: (Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised?
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)
Monica: Hi! There you are.
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.]
Monica: Yeah! I think that's great!
Monica: Oh... How are they?
Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence?
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Monica: Yeah, so?
Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.
Monica: Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks...
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.
Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke?
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Monica: Im not your best friend?
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Im fine.
Monica: Oh Uh
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
MONICA: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Monica: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Monica: That's my pie!
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Monica: I'll be right there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Nestle Tollhouse?!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: Don't do what?
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Monica: 1250.
Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Really? I'd say 3 to 4.
Monica: When it's your assistant, I would say never.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Monica: Hey! Okay, so I thought wed start with my make up and then do my hair.
Monica: Yeah, I knew.
Monica: Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now.
Monica: That's not gonna work.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Monica: What? Why, why would...
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Monica: Hi, honey.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Monica: Oh
Rachel: Monica, Im your best friend.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong.