words in movies
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Phoebe: The movie?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Monica: Star in a movie.
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Chandler: Did that movie ever get made?
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Monica: Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie.
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is reporting for work.]
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
(The movie starts, its a vampires lair and Buffay, The Vampire Layer enters dressed in leather and carrying a wooden stake. Suddenly, the vampire opens his coffin and sits up.
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something?
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie…
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Rachel: Hi, how was the movie?
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."