words in movies
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Mr. Heckles: Whaddyou want?
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
(Mr. Heckles opens the door)
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
Mr. Heckles: Potassium.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey.
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Rachel: Hi! (to mr Zellner) Excuse us.
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
MR. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetpea.
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's office, Rachel has come back again to try and do that second interview.]
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
Chandler: Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Mr. Zelner: Fair enough.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, hes working at his computer as his boss, Mr. Franklin, sticks his head in.]
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
MR. HECKLES: I could have birds.
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
JANITOR: Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
MR. GREENE: Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Mr Zelner: This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job.
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Mr. Geller: Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick? (Looking a toothpick)
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Mr Zellner: (confused) That's great!
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Monica: All right relax Mr. Ive Had Sex Four Times!
Mr. Tribbiani: What kinda change?
Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is
Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Mr. Tribbiani: Thank you. Uh...
Mr. Tribbiani: Huh?
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, Joe.
Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey. Morning, dear.
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.
Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-
Mr. Douglas: Nina.
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Phoebe: (with a deep voice) Mr. Bing's office. (Listens) No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now.
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Nina: Mr.Douglas... (flirting defensively) ..cool tie.
Mr Campbell: Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé.
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
MNCA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
All: Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?