words in movies
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself. (laughs uneasily and Sarah leaves the room)
Joey: I dont want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. (Gets an idea.) Ohooh! How about you come with me?
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
Kim: Oh sure, every Sunday night I'm telling myself I'm quitting but every Monday morning it's like (Mimics chain smoking.)
Rachel: Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, "Wow, those guys are crazy!" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time.
Rachel: Im great! Im great. Ive got a great job at Bloomingdales, have wonderful friends, and eventhough Im not seeing anyone right now, Ive never felt better about myself.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Ross: What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?
Chandler: Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...
Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
The Food Critic: I dont see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
Earl: Okay, I dont need any toner because Im going to kill myself.
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey: Probably kill myself!
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Rachel: Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
RACHEL: Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Phoebe: Nah. I kept myself busy.
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Rachel: What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there (points) and pretend youre a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!!
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Rachel: No. No, not at all, not at all. I actually was gonna bring someone myself, so
Carl: I'm just sayin', if I see one more picture of Ed Begley, Jr. in that stupid electric car, I'm gonna shoot myself! I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm not against environmental issues per se.... it's just that guy!
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.