words in movies
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
Chandler: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!
Chandler: (blocks the door) No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!! You can't come in here! R-r-r-r-Ross is naked.
Ross: Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants.
Monica: Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Monica: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!
Gary's Radio: Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer.
Chandler: Yknow, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know youre up there every night, youre naked, touching, kissing.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
JADE: I got a little drunk...and naked.
MNCA: There's an ad for a naked chef?
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are discussing what to do about the now naked hooker in the guestroom.]
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Ross: Naked friends.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Joey: I mean naked game. Strip poker, we should totally play strip poker.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
Rick: Suddenly, I very aware that Im naked.
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked?
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Ross: There are naked ladies there too.
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Joey: Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?
JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over.
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
Ross: Because there are naked ladies there.
Ross: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
Monica: All weekend? That's a whole lotta naked.
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Rachel: Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
All: Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Phoebe: Naked alone time.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Monica: Why is Ross naked?
Monica: Naked?
Monica: Were gonna see each other naked.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Rachel: �Mira, mira, el viejo desnudo est� haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)
Rachel: I dont want you to see me naked!
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Chandler: We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Phoebe: (at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back!
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Joey: How long since youve seen a girl naked?
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Monica: Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked!
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]