words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: Hi.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
(A male nurse enters.)
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
(a nurse walks in)
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?