words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Male Nurse: Hey!
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
(A male nurse enters.)
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: This is a hospital.
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(a nurse walks in)
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)