words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(a nurse walks in)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: Out!
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Male Nurse: Hey!
(A male nurse enters.)
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)