words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Nurse: Hi.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Male Nurse: Hey!
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
(A male nurse enters.)
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
(a nurse walks in)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: Absolutely.
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?