words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
(A male nurse enters.)
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
(a nurse walks in)
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
Nurse: Absolutely.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)