words in movies
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Male Nurse: Hey!
(A male nurse enters.)
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
(a nurse walks in)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: Out!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)