words in movies
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Nurse: You're that stupid.
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Why?
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: Well
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
(A male nurse enters.)
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Nurse: Hi!
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
(a nurse walks in)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Nurse: Absolutely.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.