words in movies
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Why?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: Out!
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
(A male nurse enters.)
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: Hi!
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
(a nurse walks in)
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.