words in movies
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Nurse: Hi.
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
(A male nurse enters.)
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Nurse: Hi!
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(a nurse walks in)
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Nurse: Out!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?