words in movies
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
(A male nurse enters.)
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Nurse: Hi!
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?