words in movies
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Phoebe: Well its just like youre trying too hard. Always making jokes, yknow, you justYou come off a little needy.
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Monica: (To herself) Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy!
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
(They do so and they take off their clothes.)
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
Mr. Zelner: Here let me (He goes to wipe it off himself.)
Bonnie: Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train.
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
Rachel: She dropped off a casserole?
Ross: Im sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebodys off the phone, how bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Hitchhiker: This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number.
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)
Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off!
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
David: Ok, I'm gonna take off.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Krista: We'd better take these pants off upstairs or that stain's gonna set.
Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show!
Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross.
Rachel: Oh! Weather bitch! (turns the TV off)
[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]
Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Ross: (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Monica: You dropped it off?
Chandler: I just came over to drop off nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
Amy: Oh, sweety, you can’t pull this off.
(Amy takes off Emma's hat)
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Monica: What? You are way off, lady!
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.