words in movies
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Ross: Come on you guys, it's no big deal! (He turns around and shows him his thing.)
(Rachel backs out with a confused look on her face.)
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Dr. Rhodes: First of all, it's on your ass.
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
[Scene: Dr. Rhodes's Office, a rather large group of doctors has now gathered to take a look at Ross's thing. Ross is none too pleased with the developments, he has a disgusted look on his face.]
Dr. Rhodes: Thank you soo much for coming on such a short notice. Ladies and gentlemen, I've-I've-I've been practicing medicine for twenty-three years, and I'm stumped.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
Monica: Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
Phoebe: (knocks on the door) Jason?
Jason: Yeah, come on in.
Jason: So Phoebe, you ah, sounded kinda serious on the phone, is ah, is anything wrong?
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Guru Saj: It got caught on my watch.
Pete: Lights. (The lights turn on, once again theyre too bright.) Uh, romantic lights. (The lights dim.)
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Vince: (running over) Whoa! Hey-hey! Whats going on here? Who is this guy?
Jason: Yeah. I mean y'know, we havent been going out that long. Come on, we havent even slept together yet. Huh.
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
(Ross dials a number on his cellular phone)
Stage Manager: Look, we held the curtain for you buddy. Come on, lets go! Lets go!
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Chandler: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Ross: Okay, okay, what's going on?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
[Scene Barry's office, Barry is working on patient, Robbie, as Rachel enters.]
Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!
Joey: Its not on my head.
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
(Luisa appears on the stairs)
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Monica: Oh. (Holds on to it.) (To herself) Youre not gettin it.
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Kathy: No, youre my first. Put the money on the table.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Ross: No. Im saying its now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake.
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Ross: (on phone) Hello? Hi.
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.
(She holds up a black t-shirt with "FBI - Female Body Inspector" on the front.)
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Ross: What's goin' on?
[Out on the balcony]
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]
Monica: Come on, we can't let them win!
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Matt: Okay, Ill just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more on.)
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)