words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Chandler: Yeah, hes really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
[Theres a knock on the door.]
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Ross: Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? (in an Irish accent) Two days of darts, itll be great!
Ross: Whats going on?
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Joey: Whats going on?
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Joey: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
[Chandler crumples up his cigarette pack and throws it on the ground.]
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Rachel: Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Ross: He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course Im stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, Ive got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
All: No! Come on!
Ross: We were on a break!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Joey: Come on man, you drove all the way up here.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Chandler: (singing) Ground control to Major Tom! Commencing countdown engines on!
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss.
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Chandler: See, honey, theres(puts his hand on her leg)
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Monica: Oh God! What did I just step on?
Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave.
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Phoebe: We're on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: Uh, Rach, hang on.
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Passenger #3: What's going on?
Passenger #2: I'm not flying on it!
Phoebe: Okay, you're on.
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.
Rachel: I - I have to get on the plane.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Excuse me?
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break.
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Joey: Okay, hey, museum geeks, partys over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parents basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand)
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
Monica: Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean youre not the only ones on your honeymoon!
TV Announcer: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area.
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Phoebe: Umm, the street. Come on, lets go to the street. Ooh, listen, dont go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
RACHEL: Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
CHANDLER: Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Joey: (stands up, and throws his coat on the floor) Im Joey! Im an actor! I dont know squat about dinosaurs!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, a post-coital Monica and Chandler are recovering on the couch.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Rachel: No! Come on its late, were not gonna go down to the office.
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
Monica: Okay. (Climbs back on his back.) All right.
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Joey: Dude, come on! French it u-up!
Mr. Franklin: Really? They love him down on six.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
(Joey makes a frustrated face and noise and walks away. He knocks on the next door and it's answered by an old man.)
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."