words in movies
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Chandler: You pick one.
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Come on, two on one.
Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Tom: So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Monica: Heres your key (Gets him one.)
Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so were good.
Joey: Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. (Pause.) Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Ross: No! No! (Grabs his coat) No! (Grabs a shoe.) No-no-no-no. (Grabs the other one and heads for the door.)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Monica: Yeah I do rock that one.
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product...
Phoebe: Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
<Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor>
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Rachel: Yeah, just give me a minute! (Thinking) Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing.
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Phoebe: No, I know! I-Im sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
Phoebe: Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment?
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Joey: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
[The next flashback is from The One After The Superbowl, Part II. Monica and Rachel are fighting over who gets to see Jean-Claude Van Damme.]
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.)
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Ross: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
Ross: and the miracle was that that little bit of oil that shouldve just lasted just one day, burned for
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Chandler: But Ill tell you something. One of these days were get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again!
Ross: OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah...
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Monica: Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.
Chandler: This isnt one of those uh, yknow "If she doesnt come, we-we dont, we dont come?" Right? Because I already bought my ticket
Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. Theres a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me.
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
(One of the bridesmaids, Felicity, puts her arm around Joey.)
Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
Dream Monica: Okay! There's only one left, three letter word, not dog but
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
The Teacher: Would ya care to venture one?
PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Monica: We only ordered one!
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Ross: Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.
Monica: White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Joey: Thats always appropriate! (Back to the matter at hand) Oh, okay. One more push! One more push!
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
Rachel: Oh! Well lets look for them. (Finds some under one of the couch cushions. It has a pink, fuzzy ball on the key chain.) Oh-oh-hey! Are these them?
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
CHANDLER: So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? [squeezes the ear of one of the slippers and it barks] Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.
Rachel: Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! Im gonna go to the bathroom.