words in movies
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Ross: Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Monica: No! We only mess around at his place!
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
Gunther: Okay, but only if you give me a drag.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
Ross: Only way to fly.
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Chandler: Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000.
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
Chandler: Don't judge me, I'm only human!
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
[Time Lapse, dinner has ended for everyone except Joey who looks like to have finished the turkey, until he turns the plate around and reveals he only ate one side.]
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Monica: You only think its stupid because you suck at it.
Monica: No, only because that's the graduation song.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Joey: I know. I know. And shes not only my friend; shes my pregnant friend! Shes my pregnant friend whos Ross ex!
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Chandler: And a bagel with only
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Joey: What about me, he? Only had one lunch today.
Monica: Like only if the queen comes?
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Rachel: Okay honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice.
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: Only like a month!
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
JOEY: Here it is, here it is. [reading from newspaper] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.