words in movies
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Chandler: (to the front desk clerk) Hi! Were checking out of the bridal suite.
Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet?
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Rachel: Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until yknow, he screamed out Radisson at the end.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Chandler: She picked those out too.
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Tag: Thank you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Monica: Okay! (They high-five and he walks out.)
EDDIE: At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Eric: I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Woman: Im very interested to find out whos been doing her taxes these last four years.
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Monica: Light still out?
Ross: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Joey: Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth?
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I cant get out!
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Chandler: Okay, so he's out of here.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
David: Please, clean my beakers. I dont get out of the lab much.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Rachel: Uh, Mon, you-you gonna leave your shoes out here?
RACH: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Joey: You can't go out there.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
All: Ohhh! Put it out!
(Ross runs out too.)
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Monica: (freaking out) What-what-whats that now?!
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Girl: Get out.
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Rachel: Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Ross: (showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Phoebe: Oh, Im so sorry. Um, and maybe Im wrong! I butyknow Im gonna go out with him again, Ill find out more.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again.
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Rachel: What're you guys doing out here?
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
[Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)